Archive for June, 2008

Top this for a speeding ticket

Two California Highway Patrol Officers were parked in their cruiser conducting traffic enforcement speed measurement on I-15, just north of the Marine Corps Air Station, Miramar. Officer Smith was using a hand-held radar device (similar to the one seen here) to check the speed of vehicles approaching their position and Officer Jones was thinking about lunch.

Officer Smith suddenly does a double take when his radar gun alarm registers an unbelievable speed of 300 MPH - coming from an approaching vehicle! Thinking it is an error he attempts to re-set the gun but before he can gripe to Officer Jones about the department's cheap equipment a deafening roar overhead of 8.5 magnatude envelops their cruiser and commences to give them both a good shaking. The radar gun had in fact locked on to a USMC F/A-18 Hornet which was engaged in a low flying exercise near their location. Talk about somone hard to catch!

Later, after Officers Smith and Jones have changed their skivvies back at CHP Headquarters their Patrol Captain decides to file a complaint with the USMC Base Commander.  What he hoped to gain by this (uniform cleaning bill reimbursement maybe?) is not known as of this writing. But the reply to the CHP Captain is classic USMC:

Dear Captain,

Thank you for your letter. We can now complete the file on this incident as witnesses have now come forward and identified two  bow-legged men leaving the scene of a CHP patrol car with four flat tires and a smashed radar gun.

You may be interested to know that the tactical computer in the F/A 18 Hornet had detected the presence of, and subsequently locked on to, your officer's radar equipment and recognized it as possibly hostile in nature. The electronics in the jet's hostile identifier system (HIS) automatically sent a jamming signal back to the radar gun, disabling it.

Furthermore, as a result of an unknown radar signature (possibly hostile), an Air-to-ground SMART missile aboard the fully-armed aircraft had also automatically locked on to your equipment location.

Fortunately, the Marine Pilot in command of the aircraft recognized the situation for what it was, millions of taxpayer dollars spent on training kicked in and he was able to quickly respond to the missile system alert status, override the automated defense system before the missile could be launched and hit his afterburners to discourage further action.

The pilot would also like to pass along a few suggestions: he suggests you cover your mouths when swearing at low-flying Marine aircraft since the video systems on these jets are very high tech and can see right down to the powdered sugar on Officer Jones's tunic. Officer Smith, the cop holding the radar gun, should get his dentist to check his left rear molar. It appears the filling is loose. Also, the snap is broken on his holster.

Thank you for your patriotism,

Semper Fi

If you are a Vietnam veteran and can't travel to Washington, D.C. be on the lookout in your town for the American Veterans Traveling Tribute, aka the portable Vietnam Wall Memorial. Recently it came to my town, Payson, Arizona and it was very well done. I have not had the honor of seeing the real thing in our nation's capital (I will someday) but this memorial was very moving. I found two USMC buddies who gave their lives and I took a moment to remember each one of them.

American Veterans Traveling Tribute is a group of veteran owners who are committed to traveling the USA to honor, respect, and remember those who served, in particular those who gave all. This mission also insures that all will honor and respect those who have served our country and those that serve now. 

The AVTT can be viewed online at www.avtt.org  They fulfill their mission statement by presenting the "Cost of Freedom" tribute and exhibits consisting of: The centerpiece: An 80% size replica of the Vietnam Memorial Wall. All the names of those who gave their lives are on it. It is 370 feet long and 8.5 feet tall at the apex. It is the largest traveling wall replica in the US. In addition to the wall is the Gold Dog Tag Memorial - recording all the names of servicemen and women who gave their lives in the service to their country since the Vietnam War, 911 Memorials and other exhibits like the Walk of Hero's World War II and Korean memorials.

It was emotional for me because I lost two dear friends from my hometown of St. Louis, Mo. I was able to find them on the wall thanks to the helpful staff of AVTT and rub their names on the casualty sheet that lists their name, Panel # and Line #. In case you can't read the small print, "In honor of the men and women of the Armed Forces of the United States who served in the Vietnam War. The names of those who gave their lives and those who remain missing are inscribed in the order they were taken from us."

In memoriam: Reavis A. Montrey Jr, USMC, Home of record: Ferguson, Missouri. Died of enemy small arms fire on 11/16/65 in the vicinity of Quang Nam, South Vietnam. Age 19.

In Memoriam: Victor J. Cartier, USMC, Home of Record, Webster Groves, Missouri. Died as a result of an enemy explosive device (mine) on 4/8/69 in the vicinity of Quang Nam, South Vietnam. Age 19