Archive for October, 2009

Get Me OUTSIDE!

This is why I don't like treadmills in the spare bedroom, garage, working out at health clubs or other forms of indoor exercise,  other than they are boring, boring, boring, wall mounted TV or not. I don't care if Oprah has Michelle Obama, Tom Cruise, David Letterman, Ellen, Donald Trump and Tiger Woods on the same show! (wouldn't that be a show?), indoor workouts just don't work for me, even if I have a window to look out of.

If you ever wondered why your new year's resolution to exercise and lose weight lost it's momentum after only a few weeks here is a clue:

Hello! It's winter out there, cold, rainy, gloomy, etc. Your brain wants to be doing something outdoors, walking, hiking, just about anything as long as it's outside while your body cringes at the thought. Some refer to exercising outdoors as eco-therapy, or green exercise, although I think that word green is overused. Did you know for example that the color green balances the nervous system and is supposed to have a calm, soothing, effect?

When there isn't a whole lot of green around during winter where you live it can be tough to get motivated, much less stay that way until spring. But don't despair, just by seeking the natural world you can reap the benefits of re-connecting with the environment – a reduction in anger and stress levels only to mention a couple. Take the dog for a walk, bundle up and breathe the fresh air.

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A Dog Fit For The Pentagon

We need more marines like this in Washington to sort out the mess we have gotten ourselves into in the middle east. Posted with the greatest respect for the Marine Corps and our Armed Forces this picture signifies the kind of message that we at home are tired of all the BS from our government and want these wars to end.

Our country has gone to the dogs and maybe they can do a better job!

Image: my chocolate lab Duke by: Pets In Uniform

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Chucky – has become human. Well, sort of.

A field laboratory test conducted at the Marine Corps Dreamland complex at Camp Pendleton turned into a nightmare when an  experimental "combat doll" with the face of the famous Chucky, a B horror-movie doll ran amuck, slaughtering  all the second lieutenants in the building, insane from the pain of growing to human proportions in 10 seconds flat,  after just one  drop of  Camp Lejeune "Historic Drinking Water," was placed on the doll's kevlar bibs.

Trained specifically to fight the only kind of war the terrorists understand, that of the cut-their-F***ing heads-off, suicide bomb, no-holds-barred, back-stabbing killer mindset.  A human Chucky is just the kind of fella we need for a new breed of Marine Corps Drill Instructor, someone so feared, a conscious-less creature, machine-like in it's horrible purpose with the ruthlessness and the crust to train would-be marines in tactics specifically designed to show those dirtbags in Afghanistan we are through playing around with their ugly asses.

They don't know the kind of fighters they would be facing!  No politicians could contain them, no military command could censor them and once launched, never recalled. This is the no-mercy kind of mutant that Americans love, a pure killer of the sort that will convince those people over there  – we finally mean business!

From Slimy Civilian To Marine D.I.

Originally designed as a "combat doll" for the Marine Corp by Mattel  and Universal Studios, the doll had the face of Chucky, powered by a tiny nuclear reactor. Unhampered by the lack of water or debilitating weather conditions and armed with only C-bars* Chucky platoons would sneak out at night to infiltrate enemy positions, with only one mission, sever the Achilles tendons of every tallywacker or tali ban they see.

Unfortunately the project was abandoned, then denied, by the "sensitive" military leaders within the Bush administration as too "water boardish" an issue. Chucky's "Raiders" could be formed up with the remnants of a force of rejects of these small, doll-like creatures,  Do you think it's any kind of coincidence that Chucky became human just as these fearsome creatures were ready to go forth and mutilate!

Chucky grew from doll-size proportions to human dimensions, almost overnight. Chucky, yes marines, that Chucky now wants to be one of us. Not only that, but hold on to your piss cutters, he wants to train marines as a D.I.!

This is your chance to stick up for the pukes at Parris Island and propagate that bad-assed reputation their recruits are always crowing about because, Chucky is up to here full of Hollywood types, and MCRD San Diego is too close to that bunch of sissies. But he might not wait for a personal  invitation from the Commandant either, rumor has it he is planning on starting his own outfit. You heard it here first!

Who better than Chucky to strike fear into the cold hearts of the Taliban, Iraqui's and other terrorist scum, a creature with no fear,  morals or mercy when it comes to rooting out and destroying terrorists and their supporters. D.I. Sgt Chucky – can't you just imagine it?

Which lucky platoon will have the honor of graduating the first Sgt. Chucky recruits?

Beware all enemies who cross Chucky's Raiders – Osama Bin Laden – laden with crap that is, listen up maggot face, you are directly in the cross-hairs of Chuckie's new, USMC, top-secret -sniper hatchet!

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Gung-Ho, as it used in marine barracks, is a sarcasm and means about the same thing that eager-beaver used to mean in the Army before the EB's got promoted to butt smoochers.

When one marine says another is gung-ho he is not being very nice but the corps never has taken the trouble to correct the public impression, that among marines, gung-ho is synonymous with espirit de corps. The marines haven't taken the trouble to straighten out the Chinese on the matter, either. The Chinese still think that gung-ho means "work together."

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As we get closer to the 234th celebration of the Marine Corps birthday on Nov 10th, a time when dress blues come out of numerous marine closets for celebration at Marine Corps Balls across the country, I thought it only fitting to tell a story about them that was originally told to me by my all-time favorite marine, my uncle Jack, one of many wonderful stories he told about his beloved Marine Corps, and just before he marched off to that great barracks in the sky.

If memory serves me correctly it went something like this:

Once upon a time a congressmen complimented the United States Marine Corps at a hearing of the House ppropriations sub-committee on defense and, as always when someone says a kind word about them, it was a sad day for marines everywhere. The Marine Corps never loses in a battle and it never wins on a compliment. (more…)

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