One Lucky Jarhead
A friend of mine sent me this article that appeared in the Canadian Press on October 4, 2006
EX-U.S. MARINE, WIFE CLAIM $200. MILLION POWERBALL LOTTERY JACKPOT IN IOWA
(Why does this EX- Marine thing sound so final. It reads like the ex-poor guy just got ex-communicated from the church instead of winning one of the biggest jackpots in lottery history! It's time we did something about it.) LISTEN UP MARINES!
DES MOINES, Iowa (AP) - An Iowa couple who bought three Powerball tickets during a pit stop for soda came forward Wednesday to claim the US-$200. million jackpot.Tim and Kellie Guderian bought the winning ticket September 23 at a store in Ft. Dodge, Iowa. They discovered their good fortune the following evening, as Kellie read off the winning numbers to an awe-struck Tim."What a stroke of luck," Tim Guderian said, "It seemed like a dream." (yeah, I have the same dream but when he wakes up in the morning he still has the cash)According to the Iowa Lottery, the odds of winning were about 140 million-to-1. (The only time being number one does'nt work in your favor.)
Tim Guderian, 36, served in the U.S. Marines during Operation Desert Storm and works as an automotive detailer (not any more!) in Ft. Dodge. His 44-year-old wife of nearly seven years is a sales associate (not any more!) at the Wal-Mart where the pair first met.
The Guderians chose to take the lump-sum payment, which amounts to $67.1 million after taxes.The winning ticket numbers were computer-picked. They were 13-21-26-45-50 and Powerball 20.
Powerball, which began in 1985, is played in 29 states, Washington, D.C., and the U.S. Virgin Islands. (anyone know if there has ever been a winner from the Virgin Islands?)
The biggest lottery jackpot in U.S history is a $365. million Powerball prize won by eight workers at a Nebraska meatpacking plant in February. (Can anyone say, "Fillet minon for everybody!")
Nice story but kind of a slap in the jibs! This guy is undoubtedly one of the few, the proud and the lucky. Way to go Tim (anyone got his phone number?) The only problem I have with what is written in this article is that EX thing. It just doesn't sound right. Here is probably one of the richest jarheads in the history of the Corps and he gets tagged with EX U.S. Marine like it's just some club he was in once, got tired of and quit. As we all know, the Corps is not a club and Marines never quit - once a Marine, always a Marine. I have no real issues with the word former either but it still has a hollow ring to it. I may be out in left field on this but humor me!
SOMEDAY WE WILL ALL BE "FORMER" MARINES
But only after they pry the Marine Corps Manual out of my cold, dead hands. Unfortunately, someday we will all be former -Marines but until that day comes I plan on leading the charge at coining a new word - something that means the same as former because I won't even consider EX as an option - only the pukes that couldn't hack it will have to carry that burden. Marines, even former ones are good at coming up with new words, (adapt and improvise) and over the years we have created a language that is unique to us. In this Marines opinion the only reason the word former has been accepted is due to no one coming up with a better opplan. Would you refer to Chesty Puller, THE GREATEST MARINE WHO EVER LIVED, as just a former- Marine? If you do, GET DOWN AND GIVE ME A THOUSAND!
A ZERO ON THE GUNG HO! SCALE
Whenever I have the opportunity to talk about my former life as a former-Marine - I feel that because I didn't go the distance and retire after 30 that my only recourse is to say I am a; well, former -Marine. Are you starting to see how freakin boring this word is? The excitement generated by former in front of such an OUTSTANDING word as Marine is on par with the excitement you might feel when you discover (the smell is a big hint) that it's liver and onions in the chow hall again. Just about a zero on the Gung Ho! scale and man do I ever HATE liver! If you don't think former is very exciting or even comes within a red hair of being able to describe the honor and distinction of having once-served as a United States Marine I invite you to join my cause. Whoever said, familiarity breeds contempt, must have been thinking about an issue just like this one because that's the way I feel about dull, boring, crappy old former. We have just become numb to it is all. Here is another one that is even worse yet; "I was a Marine." NOW you are in danger of entering "EX" territory again and that sticks in my craw like the greasy aftertaste of ham and mother……s. We need something that describes us former-Marines that is as cool as; OOH RAH!
HUMPING THE WORLD IN SEARCH OF A GOOD FIGHT
Now, lets get down to the meat of it. Did you ever refer to yourself as an EX-Marine within the hearing (say about 2 klicks) of a career or retired Marine? Man, they will set you straight in a hurry! Once a Marine, always a Marine! They don't much like the former-Marine thing any better but nobody yet has come up with a better way to describe a person who was former-ly on active duty. You can't say "I am a Marine" to a dumb civilian because A. you just became one yourself, fool and B. they just would'nt get it. But, before I lose you let me get to the heart of this exercise.
It's no big deal when our Canadian neighbors to the north mistakenly refer to us as EX- Marines as we have seen in the case of Tim Guderian (the richest former- jarhead I know of). We know they don't mean anything by it but I wonder if they or anyone else realizes just what a travesty it is to use that stupid little prefix. Heck, even a Mom can slip with the EX thing (but then again if the Marine Corps would have wanted you to have a mother - they would have issued you one. I always wanted to say that!) Those who have never been a part of the Few, the Proud are just not capable of understanding what it is that a Marine goes through to earn the title. We may be retired, no longer serving or too banged up to be of any use to anyone but we are still members of the finest organization of fighting men and women ever to come down the pike. And we deserve better.
HERE'S THE POOP
I feel the need to come up with some unique substitute for the word former. A word that is original, means almost the same as former and is worthy of being adapted to the unique language of the Corps. The ability to adapt to just about any thing or any circumstance is the hallmark of the Corps. Why would we have trouble with something as insignificant as a word? So here is what I propose: I looked up both ex and former in good ole Websters and here is what was listed for both, used in the context of prefix to Marine: PRIOR -MARINE (Ugh), PAST- MARINE (nope), PREVIOUS-MARINE (nah), ONE-TIME-MARINE (sounds like something a Vietnamese bar girl might say), ALUM-MARINE (uh uh), ALUMNUS-MARINE, ERSTWHILE-MARINE, LATTER-DAY-MARINE (these past three are no good either), BYGONE-MARINE (the best of the lot so far), ONCE-MARINE. Not a whole lot of great choices is there? However! There is one word that I found that has potential, drum roll please…
SUPRA MARINES
That's right! The word is Supra. As in Supra-Marine, a man or woman who once was on active duty in the Corps whether they be retired after 30, in for a couple and out or whatever, a word that means the same as former. If you don't believe me, look it up! But this is the interesting part. Knowing how us Marines like to adapt words to suit our own language how long do you figure it would take for this one to become SUPER? Now, being referred to as a Super-Marine suits me just fine - how about you?
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