Marines Deny Use Of "Combat Dolls"
Chucky – has become human. Well, sort of.
A field laboratory test conducted at the Marine Corps Dreamland complex at Camp Pendleton turned into a nightmare when an experimental "combat doll" with the face of the famous Chucky, a B horror-movie doll ran amuck, slaughtering all the second lieutenants in the building, insane from the pain of growing to human proportions in 10 seconds flat, after just one drop of Camp Lejeune "Historic Drinking Water," was placed on the doll's kevlar bibs.
Trained specifically to fight the only kind of war the terrorists understand, that of the cut-their-F***ing heads-off, suicide bomb, no-holds-barred, back-stabbing killer mindset. A human Chucky is just the kind of fella we need for a new breed of Marine Corps Drill Instructor, someone so feared, a conscious-less creature, machine-like in it's horrible purpose with the ruthlessness and the crust to train would-be marines in tactics specifically designed to show those dirtbags in Afghanistan we are through playing around with their ugly asses.
They don't know the kind of fighters they would be facing! No politicians could contain them, no military command could censor them and once launched, never recalled. This is the no-mercy kind of mutant that Americans love, a pure killer of the sort that will convince those people over there – we finally mean business!
From Slimy Civilian To Marine D.I.
Originally designed as a "combat doll" for the Marine Corp by Mattel and Universal Studios, the doll had the face of Chucky, powered by a tiny nuclear reactor. Unhampered by the lack of water or debilitating weather conditions and armed with only C-bars* Chucky platoons would sneak out at night to infiltrate enemy positions, with only one mission, sever the Achilles tendons of every tallywacker or tali ban they see.
Unfortunately the project was abandoned, then denied, by the "sensitive" military leaders within the Bush administration as too "water boardish" an issue. Chucky's "Raiders" could be formed up with the remnants of a force of rejects of these small, doll-like creatures, Do you think it's any kind of coincidence that Chucky became human just as these fearsome creatures were ready to go forth and mutilate!
Chucky grew from doll-size proportions to human dimensions, almost overnight. Chucky, yes marines, that Chucky now wants to be one of us. Not only that, but hold on to your piss cutters, he wants to train marines as a D.I.!
This is your chance to stick up for the pukes at Parris Island and propagate that bad-assed reputation their recruits are always crowing about because, Chucky is up to here full of Hollywood types, and MCRD San Diego is too close to that bunch of sissies. But he might not wait for a personal invitation from the Commandant either, rumor has it he is planning on starting his own outfit. You heard it here first!
Who better than Chucky to strike fear into the cold hearts of the Taliban, Iraqui's and other terrorist scum, a creature with no fear, morals or mercy when it comes to rooting out and destroying terrorists and their supporters. D.I. Sgt Chucky – can't you just imagine it?
Which lucky platoon will have the honor of graduating the first Sgt. Chucky recruits?
Beware all enemies who cross Chucky's Raiders – Osama Bin Laden – laden with crap that is, listen up maggot face, you are directly in the cross-hairs of Chuckie's new, USMC, top-secret -sniper hatchet!
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