A field laboratory test conducted at the Marine Corps Dreamland complex at Camp Pendleton turned into a nightmare when an  experimental "combat doll" with the face of the famous Chucky, a B horror-movie doll ran amuck, slaughtering  all the second lieutenants in the building, insane from the pain of growing to human proportions in 10 seconds flat,  after just one  drop of  Camp Lejeune "Historic Drinking Water," was placed on the doll's kevlar bibs.

Trained specifically to fight the only kind of war the terrorists understand, that of the cut-their-F***ing heads-off, suicide bomb, no-holds-barred, back-stabbing killer mindset.  A human Chucky is just the kind of fella we need for a new breed of Marine Corps Drill Instructor, someone so feared, a conscious-less creature, machine-like in it's horrible purpose with the ruthlessness and the crust to train would-be marines in tactics specifically designed to show those dirtbags in Afghanistan we are through playing around with their ugly asses.

They don't know the kind of fighters they would be facing!  No politicians could contain them, no military command could censor them and once launched, never recalled. This is the no-mercy kind of mutant that Americans love, a pure killer of the sort that will convince those people over there  – we finally mean business!

From Slimy Civilian To Marine D.I.

Originally designed as a "combat doll" for the Marine Corp by Mattel  and Universal Studios, the doll had the face of Chucky, powered by a tiny nuclear reactor. Unhampered by the lack of water or debilitating weather conditions and armed with only C-bars* Chucky platoons would sneak out at night to infiltrate enemy positions, with only one mission, sever the Achilles tendons of every tallywacker or tali ban they see.

Unfortunately the project was abandoned, then denied, by the "sensitive" military leaders within the Bush administration as too "water boardish" an issue. Chucky's "Raiders" could be formed up with the remnants of a force of rejects of these small, doll-like creatures,  Do you think it's any kind of coincidence that Chucky became human just as these fearsome creatures were ready to go forth and mutilate!

Chucky grew from doll-size proportions to human dimensions, almost overnight. Chucky, yes marines, that Chucky now wants to be one of us. Not only that, but hold on to your piss cutters, he wants to train marines as a D.I.!

This is your chance to stick up for the pukes at Parris Island and propagate that bad-assed reputation their recruits are always crowing about because, Chucky is up to here full of Hollywood types, and MCRD San Diego is too close to that bunch of sissies. But he might not wait for a personal  invitation from the Commandant either, rumor has it he is planning on starting his own outfit. You heard it here first!

Who better than Chucky to strike fear into the cold hearts of the Taliban, Iraqui's and other terrorist scum, a creature with no fear,  morals or mercy when it comes to rooting out and destroying terrorists and their supporters. D.I. Sgt Chucky – can't you just imagine it?

Which lucky platoon will have the honor of graduating the first Sgt. Chucky recruits?

Beware all enemies who cross Chucky's Raiders – Osama Bin Laden – laden with crap that is, listen up maggot face, you are directly in the cross-hairs of Chuckie's new, USMC, top-secret -sniper hatchet!

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At a secret military installation far from the poisoned water of Camp Lejeune, Sgt. Chucky has begun work creating a new kind of combat marine. One that will strike total horror into the cold hearts of terrorist leaders everywhere, just by his appearance. He's lean, he's mean and he's a one-man, hard to kill, fighting and training machine.

Sgt. Chucky brings his special skills with hatchet and chain-saw to the already outstanding close combat skills of marines. His outfit, Chucky's Raiders, is a strictly all-volunteer force which is limited to those marine types who possess no fear of being mutilated in combat – they are already so ugly that their faces alone send shock waves of terror through their opponents.

Here is a rare shot of Sgt Chucky's assistant, former Marine, Lcpl. Bob "Pretty Boy" Donner, yes, those Donners, all glammed up for liberty in downtown Falujah. These are the kinds of men Chucky's Raiders needs to recruit that, along with our regular marines, will put a stop to all the Washington BS, get these people under control and get our troops HOME!

Promoting terror among your enemies is not a terrorist exclusive, Sgt. Chucky's slaughter squads will attest to that. Bob here is one of the better looking of us. We have yet to find a girl for him.  Go figure.

Sgt. Chucky's Recruiting Video – Calling the Few, The Proud and the SCARY!

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This second article in a two-story series, written for the St. Louis Post Dispatch Newspaper in March 1977 entitled; Boot Camp Leaves It's Mark, authored by my uncle SSgt USMC (deceased) Jack Rice set the tone early on in the opening paragraph, "The best-loved symbol of the United States Marine Corps is the Drill Instructor. The character-molding, father-substitiute, confessor-at-large DI." Every movie maker in Hollywood knows that, some better than others.

Uncle Jack was of the opinion that Jack Webb was the best Hollywood DI of the lot and Webb's portrayal of a Marine Drill Instructor in the classic movie, The DI was worthy of a Chesty award. Webb had the whole Drill Instructor persona down cold and Jack swore he felt like he was back in boot camp when he saw the movie. My Drill Instructors in 1968 were sadistic drunks and they would wake us up in the middle of the night, make us put blankets over the windows in the barracks to hide the light and proceed to torture us one by one. Had Mr. Webb thrown in a couple of punches, kicks and gouges while screaming at the top of his lungs he could have been one of my drill instructors!

Webb wore the campaign hat, the DI's crown of power at the most authoritative forward tilt yet filmed, John Wayne did not do it better. (But sorry Mr. Jack Webb, as good as you were I don't think I have ever seen anyone act the part of a marine that was as psycho as either of the two that got ahold of me). Neither came close to the real thing, of course, they were only "acting." Jack had his Jack Webb and I've got R. Lee Ermey, in my mind the best of my generation of actors playing Marine roles. Maybe he did it so well because he was one of us. Semper Fi Gunny!

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It happens quickly upon leaving the bus and setting your feets on the yellow footprints. And in this video it looks like the DI's are enjoying their peculiar brand of fun.

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